Greetings Lovely Hearts!
In the search for a Balanced Life, I notice that Resistance comes up just as much, if not more often, than Fear when I’m working on Self-Inspection and accessing my Natural State of well-being. I notice this resistance ESPECIALLY in relationships that I’m in, when notions of change and uncertainty come to the surface of the Consciousness of the relationship.
Yes, romantic relationships especially, because finding someone who wants to commit on the same level as we do is a wonderful, messy process, but ALSO in relationships with family members, community-tribes and teachers: these patterns of Resistance come up everywhere, because EVERYTHING is always changing!
I am entering into a space of Awareness, lately, in which I am FINALLY starting to see that the Fear and Withdrawing I witness in people around me is a measure of my own attachments to Fear and Withdraw. I can be, just like the rest of everyone, quite resistant to change. I am afraid of things, of hearts breaking and not getting what I have imagined for mySelf: and yes, I know, this sneaky demon of Fear is a real and tangible thing for us as we are on Our Journey. Fear and Resistance still come up for me, still take over sometimes.
Here is what is becoming softer AND stronger: I can NOTICE the moment EXACTLY when those shadows creep in. I NOTICE mySelf allowing them to become louder and louder, ending in emotion or a thought-pattern (or maybe lying on top of a thought pattern), that I then move through and release. I am getting better at apologizing when other people are pulled into this current. I am starting to see, that Doing the Whole Thing (the Whole Reaction, or Resistance) is not necessary….and as my eyes open to a possibility of Not-Resisting, there is Space and Peace and Softness that holds me.
For me, each relationship is an opportunity to practice. No one needs to know what I’m doing, no one needs to be in on my Secret: I am living a Delicious Life, and I honor Divinity within you. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get angry, or fearful, or condescending, or whatever…it just means that my Inner Focus is on cultivating space outside of that reaction, and CHOICES about reactions I have.
One of the best places for me to practice this is in my professional life. As a chiropractor, I am both primary care and specialist, and I perceive the role of the chiropractor as also one that supports a patient’s progress as the patient needs. Education, support, and of course, actual care are given where I work. I find (and have found, since starting to work with people) that each person is suffering, and everyone wants to be heard. I cultivate patience, and compassion, and also: zero attachment to their process and them “obeying” me. Being a chiropractor isn’t about me; it’s about them. I don’t get to choose what they do with the adjustment, with the information, with anything that I offer. It is their right to not want my care. I release all resistance when it comes to what they need, or don’t need, and sometimes, it’s REALLY not an easy thing. But I do it. It’s a practice.
And so I offer this to you: where can you START? Where can you start to soften your edges, to enjoy your Life more? Waiting in lines? Driving in bad traffic? Professional lives? The thing that makes it easier for me to start with my professional Self, is that the people I’m dealing with ONLY know me in that respect: they are not imposing past interactions with me on my current experience. It’s like I have a clean slate, even though I have had relationships with these people for years. They STILL only get a fraction of my life: and it’s a fraction I am both aware of, and in control of.
Find the places and the spaces where you can change your Ideas about yourSelf, and start with the easy ones. Start with things like drinking more water, smiling at 5 strangers, daily affirmations, or whatever is on your list of things you think will help you release Resistance to Change. Let your Heart be opened, and touched by the world. Ultimately, change is happening whether or not we resist it…comfortably inevitable as I like to say.
And I offer you this wonderful poem, by one of my favorite poetesses: Donna Faulds
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in –
the wild and the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your
known way of being, the whole
world is revealed to your new eyes.
Blessings, Ease and May Your Way Be Open
- Resisting Change….. Why? (fireofficermentor.com)
- Resistance to Change: Gauntlets, Hurdles, Obstacles, and Sabotage (annecarolinedrake.com)
- Empowering Core: Bigger than Ego (thebalancedsoul.wordpress.com)
- Encountering Suffering (thebalancedsoul.wordpress.com)
- Next Questions to Answer: Resistance to Change (loveinmyownskin.wordpress.com)
- The Warrior Becomes One with Change – Maker of Despair (libertarianway.me)
- Letting Go of the Fear of Uncertainty and Embracing Adventure (ungiornonellavita.wordpress.com)
- Cultivating the Sacred Witness (thebalancedsoul.wordpress.com)
- Contributing to a Current (thebalancedsoul.wordpress.com)
- The Art of Letting Go (kimberleyjones.wordpress.com)
- No Fear, Yes Fear, or something else? (viewpacific.wordpress.com)