One of the trends I notice with patients who start under my care, is that they do not pay attention to themSelves. They are from a mind-space that if they really NOURISH themSelves, that they are doing something wrong. One of the things I do, when I am working with someone who is looking to shift their lives towards wellness and health, is I start to help them form an idea of what they can do on a daily basis that makes them feel beautiful, amazing, light and WORTHY.
Now, this is something that women have a more difficult time processing than men, on the whole. Studies have shown that women are wired to take time to clean, organize, nest, and connect with their friends (for their friends’ sake, often), before they start to actually enjoy their own time, for themselves. Eesh!
So, regardless of your relationship status and sex, I offer you a few steps to integrate MORE nourishing, more self-Love, and more overall acknowledgement of just how worthy you ARE into your every day life. Please, as ALWAYS, make these your own, take off, inspire and share with others and DON’T worry about doing it wrong! It doesn’t matter what it looks like to ANYONE else…your Nourishing Patterns are sacred to YOU!
Step 1: Identify the part of your day that the bulk of this stuff can fit in. Do you have relaxed mornings (or are you a morning person, awake earlier than you “need” to be anyway?), or evenings? Are you lunches long? Is your schedule all over the place, always changing? Knowing the time pockets you have to work in is CRUCIAL to any of these things actually working out in concrete ways.
Step 2: Make a HUUUUGE list of things that you LOVE to do with your Life…or imagine that you would love to do. It can include things that you know in your practical mind that can be achieved every so often, and include things like “Fly to Paris for the weekend!”…let your imagination go…and create a life FULL of amazing things YOU want. Add things like favorite perfumes and products, foods, teas, music and books. Things that might be accomplished simply by remembering them on a grocery list, and things you might want to set a timer for (like reading a good book or “quiet time”).
KEEP IT POSITIVE please! Focus on things you DO want (just like when you’re doing your affirmations!), not things that are causing your frustration right now. So instead of “I want coworkers that don’t piss me off,” you could say “I imagine a work environment that’s peaceful and supportive.”
Step 3: Narrow down the list. This is where I actually start with most people, because we are chatting about their lifestyle and what changes they want to make as we are having our consultation or appointment.
Your job now is to split things on the list into “Daily” (like spiritual practice, creative time, podcasts, naps, tea, yoga, or what have you), “Weekly” (long baths? hikes? The things that take longer than a few minutes, that you would need to schedule for yourSelf in order to find time for), and “Once in awhile”. The last section is things that you would have to schedule, pay money for, and maybe consult with friends on.
Step 4: Choose your Daily Ritual! Knowing how much time you have, choose 3 things that you could do, every day, that will ground you and make your feel amazing about yourSelf. It can be as simple as an evening cup of a special tea, or having a foot soak when you get home from work. When I do this with patients, it includes postural or spinal stretches or exercises. It can be Three Deep Breaths, listening to a wonderful song (or keeping a great station on Pandora!). You really want to find three things you can do every day, without fail. One of them could even be something you already do! (Long hot shower is on mine, and I make it special with wonderful body washes or conditioners that make me smell and feel lovely).
Weekly, you can buy yourSelf flowers, or indulge in one WONDERFUL treat. Long baths with a good book (cliche, but SO GOOD!), getting to your favorite restaurant, a manicure…anything! You probably want to choose at least one weekly thing that can be tossed in. Talk with your partner or spouse…they need to know that you are making some great changes and that you would love their support! It’s ok if they don’t get it, but it’s important that YOU get it: that YOU see and give FULL energy and attention to loving yourSelf, at least a few minutes of every day.
Does three feel like too much to you? Make it less! Not enough? Make it more! And of course, it changes depending on what and who is happening in our lives: sometimes we need MORE gentle sweetness, and sometimes we are more empowered and moving-outward. What I find for mySelf, though, is that if I nourish mySelf deeply when I feel I need it, and then maintain a base-line, that my Empowerment phases come from a place of Source, rather than Ego. I am more sure of myself, rather than building on a desperate hope or wish to get things accomplished. Also, when I respect that I need MORE, and give it to mySelf, my recovery period is faster.
Resistance makes things tougher, right? We still hafta go through the stuff of life, quills raised or not.
This is a fantastic way to reinforce the other work you do, and reward yourself for continued perseverance and long-term lifestyle changes, so make it yours, and be excited for it!
So there you are, Loves! A few small ideas offered in hopes of easing your way, and making each day something you look forward to living!
Blessings and Ease and plenty of Treats